Lesser X-pectations
Mild letdown of the third installment proves it's the Singer, not the script
By Andy Klein
The title X-Men: The Last Stand might make you think that this is final chapter of a trilogy, but don't you fret: Unless this tanks - and it won't - there will be yet more ... which may or may not be a good thing. As X-Men United (2003) was arguably a slight step up from the excellent X-Men (2000), the new film is inarguably a slight step down from either of them.
Like its predecessors, the film opens with a flashback ... actually, two flashbacks. First we see the Professor (Patrick Stewart) and Magneto (Ian McKellen), 20 years earlier, trying to recruit the then-young Jean Grey. I'm not sure whether Stewart and McKellen were youthified by makeup or CGI or (likeliest) a combination of the two, but be assured that the effect - strangely smooth, plasticene-like faces - is far creepier than most real-life mutations.
Ten years fly by during a momentary dissolve, and we see fat cat Warren Worthington II (Michael Murphy) pounding on a bathroom door in his opulent residence, worried about adolescent Warren III (Ben Foster) having locked himself in the bathroom for an hour. I know what I'd assume is going on, but Pop has apparently forgotten what it's like to be an adolescent boy. When he breaks in, he finds Warren II surrounded by feathers, suggesting that the lad may have taken the phrase "choking the chicken" too literally. But, no, those are his own feathers: He will someday be known as Angel, because of his beautiful set of white wings.
Fast-forwarding to the story's main time frame, we find the major characters - primarily Scott/Cyclops (James Marsden) and Logan/Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) - still mourning the sacrificial death of Jean (Famke Janssen), who, as you may recall, got herself all drownded in Alkali Lake at the end of part two to save the rest of the gang. The characters in this series (and many comic-book adaptations) seem to have a hard time staying dead. So, when you see Jean listed as "Phoenix" in the credits, you can be doubly sure that it'll take more than a few million tons of lake to keep her down.
And indeed, no sooner does Cyclops go for a mope on the banks of that recently expanded lake than Jean rises up from her watery grave, all the more powerful for her experience. So powerful, in fact, that her resurrection seems to atomize poor Cyclops. Ooops.
The earlier movies hinted that Jean is potentially the most powerful mutant of them all, and her potential is now realized. Problem is that she's not quite herself ... or maybe she's her real self for the first time. It turns out that, all these years, the Prof has been molding Jean's mind to suppress the possibility of her uncontrolled id unleashing her full force. In short, he's made her into Dr. Grey and Ms. Hyde; the whole death/rebirth thing has shifted her mental equilibrium, so that her two selves are now constantly struggling.
Meanwhile, Magneto is stirring up a new cauldron of tsuris, angered by the announcement that a "cure" has been developed for mutantism. The mastermind - or at least the moneybags - behind this humanitarian development is none other than the elder Warren Worthington, who intends to try it out on Warren the Younger.
A few mutants want the "cure," but most don't, so the government decides to pepper crowds of them with little flying hypodermics. Some of the known characters are among the "cured." Others "die" - a word that, in this context, is no less deserving of quotations marks than "cure" - in the ensuing struggles with either the cops or Magneto.
The notion that mutantism is something that needs to be cured - rather than a mere difference or even an evolutionary improvement - has come up before, but this time it's the central issue. On the most obvious level, the X-Men have metaphorically represented all kinds of "different" behavior. The underlying moral is much like that of Dumbo: Ignore the conforming scaredy-cats and embrace your idiosyncrasies.
But the constant talk here about a "cure" inevitably puts the focus more specifically on homosexuality. Not many viewers are likely to miss this connection: certainly not McKellen, who (in an interview distributed by the Associated Press) recently said, "We've got to peddle the lie that we're all the same so we all buy the same products. That's why they don't like openly gay people on TV. We upset the view that we're all the same. What is Magneto going to say about that? Well, what everybody should say: 'Not on your life!' There are people who think you can cure homosexuality. Scientologists will tell you they can cure you. They can cure you! Well, Magneto suddenly became an easy part to play."
For X-Men 3, director Bryan Singer has been replaced by Brett Ratner. Ratner's best film to date was Rush Hour (1998), while Singer's was The Usual Suspects (1995) - which is one way of pointing out that Ratner represents a step down. And, while the new film is reasonably enjoyable, everything feels watered down except the big action set pieces.
In terms of blowing things up, Ratner can match Singer any old day. But in terms of interesting visuals or character nuance, forget it. Ratner overplays the emotional stuff, and it ends up much less moving. The film's climax is in many ways a reprise of the climax of X2, but less affecting. And the notion of characters being involuntarily stripped of their powers should feel at least as tragic as anything we've seen to date. Yet, the first instance here is reduced to a setup for one or two not very sharp jokes.
Speaking of jokes, what's most surprising among the film's deficiencies is humor. Ratner is usually at his best as a comedy director, but the jokes in this installment are far fewer and far less witty than before.
There are a number of fine performers in the series' regular ensemble, but - with all due respect to Stewart and Jackman in particular - it's McKellen who fares the best. (Does he ever not fare the best?) Poor Jackman is subjected to one of the tackiest clichés in the book: i.e., hero sees loved one die; hero drops to knees and screams, "Noooooooooooo- ooo!"; camera rapidly pulls straight up, showing hero isolated in despair. The Simpsons has been poking fun at that one for at least a decade.
The music is also a problem. With Singer gone, so is his usual composer/editor John Ottman. In his place is John Powell, much of whose score should prove very interesting to John Barry's attorneys.
Am I making it sound like X-Men: The Last Stand is a wipeout? That's really not my intention; this is no Fantastic Four (2005). It's a serviceable commercial film, never boring and mostly fun. It's only the comparison to its predecessors that makes it seem wanting.
Published: 05/25/2006
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